Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
