sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
