2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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