He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
