Its about making memories worth repressing
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just want to make out with him forever
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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