I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
