Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Hippo gnu deer
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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