he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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