Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
