i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
