he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize