if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
