Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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