I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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