ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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