we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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