Is it normal to miss your booty call?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My life is pants optional.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
