Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
