you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
