I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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