He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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