I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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