I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
