I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
