I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
