I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
