well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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