it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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