Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
