Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
