No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
