Are we in a gay sports bar?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize