white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
