his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
