Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
