Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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