this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
