belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
