y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
