At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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