im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
