im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
