glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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