i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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