I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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