Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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