what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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