just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My cat gives me a boner
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
