woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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