so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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