I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
