How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
