Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
