Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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