I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
