I wish I only lived at night.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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