it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize