My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
