the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
