road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
