i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
