Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
